Healthy relationships

In a relationship it is vital to have love, respect and communication.

 

Without these three things, it is easy to loose our way in a relationship and begin an ugly road to the end of it.

It is vital to keep around us those that support us and our love for each other.  Also, that they do not impose their life or needs into our relationship.  This often happens when a couple have children.  It is important to continue to make time for each other and to nurture the relationship as we did when we first met and fell in love. Others will come and go, even our children will build a life of their own at some point.  Our goal is to keep things fresh and new between the couple.

 

There are those in our lives who are lost.  No matter how much you try to help them.  It does not matter how much time, energy, love and money we spend on them.  They continue to come back wanting more.  These individuals usually do not take responsibility for themselves or their actions.  There is always someone else or some circumstances that caused the issue.  They seem so lost we become afraid for them, so we continue helping them.  Hoping they will somehow manage their life better.  Sometimes they appear to be headed towards pulling it together.  So, we feel that if we don't continue to assist them, they will flounder.  Unfortunately they count on that.  These individuals are masters at manipulation.  And they will drain our relationship dry if they are allowed to infuse our life with their drama. They will use us until there is nothing left to give.  Then they will act as though we are horrible if we do not come through for them.  They are insecure, jealous and argumentative.  Sometimes they are socially stunted due to engaging in some sort of addiction from a young age.  They dominate the conversation and before we know it,  our thoughts are consumed with what will they do?   What have they done?  What will I do if they do that again?  The stress of keeping balance and sticking to our boundaries becomes larger until we can not even concentrate or put energy into our own life. Sometimes the level of stress begins to show physically, and causes depression. This kind of individual will drain and divide the couple completely.  This creates changes in the couple that effect their entire life, and their relationships with those that love an support them.

 

From the above description we can see that these individuals are lacking love and respect.  Most importantly, their communication is toxic to a loving relationship.  Their connection in any relationship will be toxic.  It is vital to keep those individuals at bay so they can not endanger the relationship.  No worries, they are very capable of finding someone else to connect to that will care for them.  This is their choice in how to survive, through manipulation of those they can get to care for them.

 

If by chance we are in a relationship with an individual as described above,  it would be very advisable for us to take a look at whether it is really working for us.  Perhaps it is time to do some work on our own personal life and growth.  Bring up our self esteem and find someone who can share love, respect and communication.

 

If we have an individual as described above in our life as a relative or someone who is important to either of us, it is vital that we do not let them into the relationship.  Do not under any circumstances let them live with us! Their self centered attitude will destroy most happy relationships so badly that is not repairable. It puts us in a place where we feel torn between the individual and our partner. Resentment builds and divides the couple.    It is often extremely difficult to finally make the decision to place them out of our lives, however  it is necessary to make that choice in order to maintain a healthy relationship. 

 

This New Year 2014 is starting out with a much lighter energy than 2013.  That is a great start for us to begin creating our environment to be lighter, supportive, and loving in our relationships.  With ourselves and others, whether we are in a relationship or not.   Now is the time for us all to look at what we want to create in our relationships.   After that decision we need to make the necessary changes.   Remembering to let go of all of the things that have not worked for us in our relationships in the past.

 

LETTING GO OF TOXIC BEHAVIORS AND RELATIONSHIPS

Rev Judi will be facilitating a Saturday workshop February22, 2014. Those interested in creating and nurturing a happy healthy relationship can pre register by Monday Feb 17th. Cost is $65.00 per person. Pre register early as there is limited space.  

 

IT IS IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER THAT IT IS EQUALLY IMPROTANT TO BE A GOOD PARTNER AS IT IS TO FIND ONE.

 

Call for location and to pre register: (925) 260-6089